Usually, when giving children for adoption or adoption, they prefer to give them to complete families. Sometimes children are given to single mothers, but there are very few single dads who want to take on someone else’s child to raise.
All the more remarkable is the story of Ben Carpenter, who took five children, and very difficult ones at that.
Ben now has five adopted children.
Ben Carpenter is now 35 years old. He lives in the small town of Huddersfield in central England and filed for a fifth adopted child earlier this year. All of Ben’s children have certain health characteristics – from autism to Robin’s syndrome (a congenital malformation of the jaw). The eldest Jack is now 11 years old, Ruby is 8 years old, Lily is six, Joseph is three, and the youngest is Noah, who is only a year old.
The very decision to adopt a child requiring special attention, Ben came at 21 years old. Then he worked at a local school for adults and children with special needs. “Maybe I was young, but I was already mature enough to realize both the responsibility and my desire to become a dad,” says Ben.
Lily was born deaf.
He was very worried about whether he would be able to adopt someone since he was not married. “I saw an ad from a local shelter that social services are looking for parents for children with special needs and I thought that they would probably refuse me, I’m just a guy, without a family. But I told them about myself, told them about my work experience and the commission responded to my proposal with enthusiasm. Well, nine years later, I have five children and I would not exchange such a life for anything else.
Joseph is diagnosed with Down syndrome.
Ruby has Pierre Robin syndrome.
The eldest boy, Jack, is diagnosed with autism, Ruby was born with a maxillofacial defect, and one of her hands is also limited in her actions due to a bone defect. Lily was born deaf, and Joseph has Down syndrome. The youngest Noah has a number of health problems – he was born with a very rare syndrome – Cornelia de Lange, in which there is mental retardation and abnormal development of the body, and in Noah’s case – problems with the proper development of arms and legs.
Ben admits that he wanted to be a dad since he was 21.
“Noah is a great kid, he fits perfectly into our family as if he had always been a part of it. The rest of the children are very kind to him, especially Lily, she takes care of the baby in a motherly way.”
Noah is only a year old now.
Ben reveals that he saw Noah’s picture in a social service magazine. Each month, they place photos and stories of the children in a special magazine for parents who would like to adopt a foster child. “There are children in this magazine who are ‘hard to define in a family, and among them, I saw Noah and thought that this baby should simply become part of our family. Here he will be loved for who he is.”
All of Ben’s adopted children have some form of health problem.
When asked if Ben wants to have children of his own, the guy replies that raising adopted children is the same as raising his own. “Raising children is much more than being their biological father. My children are my children. They can even see my habits now. Yes, they do not have my blood, but who cares!”
The eldest child in the family is 11-year-old Jack.
Ben also admits that he is unlikely to get into a relationship anytime soon. “Every time I think about my family in the future, I think first of all about my children. For their sake, I am ready to walk on hot coals, I will protect them under any circumstances. You know, anyone can be a father. But not everyone is a dad.”
The fifth child in the family appeared only this year.
Photo from last Christmas.
Ben is called super dad.
Ben is sure that being a father and a dad is not the same thing.
About how a Soviet obstetrician adopted a child, and for this he was almost expelled from the medical institute, read our article on this story.