“Vitya got into trouble, now his mother is helping his brother get out of them. To do this, she had to go to extreme measures: to sell her apartment and give half the amount to Vitya. She herself bought a house smaller in size, but in a house that had just begun to be built, ”says Anya.
Since there is only trouble from her brother, Anya has to support her mother, how can she refuse to help a loved one? Only her mother did not appreciate the help, despite the fact that her daughter provided her with her own housing so that her mother lived comfortably and did not need anything until she moved to a new apartment.
Mom helps her brother
“Mom says that they promise to give her the keys to a new home in 8 months, but I think she will have to wait longer. Of course, my mother had to live somewhere, and she moved with my husband and me into a two-room apartment. We ourselves work every day, and we don’t like to hang around at home on weekends, so this was not a problem.
Moreover, the situation is temporary, albeit unpleasant. Mom cannot rent an apartment, as she pays the mortgage for the apartment. And she has no one else to stay with. Mom has been living with us for almost a month, but during this time she has been replaced. Mom is unhappy every day. She speaks about the dishes, and our furniture, it is inconvenient for her to cook food in our kitchen. In addition, my mother complains to her friends about how hard it is for her to live with us.
Yes, our apartment is not very big: the living room is combined with the kitchen, where we settled our mother, and the bedroom is enough for us. Mom had no choice, but not to live on the street! The first time everything was fine. And then my mother got used to it and began to complain that her back hurts from our sofa. What to do – bought her an orthopedic mattress. And it’s still uncomfortable.”
life with mom
“Then it turned out that she did not have enough space in the closet for her things, in the apartment everything is constantly out of place, in her opinion. And, as soon as it starts, it is already impossible to stop the mother. She throws tantrums, sometimes she is silent for a whole day as if we offended her with something. When I asked what was the matter, my mother began to resent that we had evicted her to the living room as a servant.
At first, I was surprised, and then I asked her seriously: “So you want to live in our bedroom, and Taras and I will huddle in the living room?” – is silent. Mom generally likes to put things in order, and often it ends badly. Either she broke the induction hob when she dropped the pan on it, or she burned the slow cooker because she doesn’t know how to use it.
And then he blames us for everything, saying that our utensils are wrong. I was already tired of this order, and my husband too, when I had to throw new blue shirts into the trash after my mother’s next wash. I tell her that I will do everything myself, but she can not wait. This is where chaos comes in.
We already try to have dinner in the cafe in the evenings, and we only spend the night at home. The place where you want to relax has become another everyday irritant. On weekends, we also try not to appear in the house. And now my mother declares ironically, they say that we are so rich – now we eat in a cafe every evening. And when we buy some things, he pouts and does not talk all day.
Constant reproaches“I am already ashamed in front of my husband. If his mother did this, I would not tolerate it. And he is silent, says that everything is fine. Although this situation unsettles me, I can understand how Taras feels. So the other day I talked to my mother, said that living conditions would not be better, but we somehow live here. She herself asked to change corners with us, and we, in my opinion, did not refuse. And if such conditions do not suit her, she can find something better.
After this conversation, my mother packed her things and went to live at work in the utility room. She has been living there for almost a week. I don’t understand this behavior at all, is it better there than here? I called her and asked her to come back, but she didn’t. The husband says that she is an adult woman, she will figure out how and where it is better for her to live. But I can’t leave it like this. That’s my mom.”
It is strange how different the attitude of parents toward their children sometimes happens. Mom helps out an unlucky son with problems and sells the only housing. And the daughter, who did not refuse her anything, sheltered her in her apartment, turned out to be a bad daughter. Each person must be accountable for their actions. Before you do something, you need to think carefully about everything. And do not blame others for everything when you made a mistake yourself. Relatives need to be helped, but if they do not accept help, then they are able to solve their problems themselves. Should you blame yourself for this?